Forget Shark Week, it’s Bark Week on Mashable. Join us as we celebrate all the good dogs, which we humans do not deserve.
For every 100 Fidos and Lucys, there’s a, uh, Shitrock.
Let’s be real — there are a lot of dogs, and everyone wants their dog to stand out from the crowd. Occasionally, this urge manifests in a dog name that’s out of left field, to say the least. So we asked people to share the weirdest dog name they’ve ever heard — whether from a friend, a stranger, or *gasp* themselves.
And if you find genuine name inspiration below? More power to you. To be frank, the world could use more dogs named Farfle.
SEE ALSO: Why aren’t you spying on your dog?
1. “My dog went to camp with [a dog named] Tubesocks, and that is my favorite dog name ever.” —Jaye
2. “I went to school with a guy that named his dog Boy. Or maybe they never named him and just called him Boy because he was a male dog. Farm dog. No emotions for him.” —Doris
3. “Chairman of the Board. Please see attached photo.” —Currie
4. “I once had a dog named Double Decker Soul Wrecker. He was awesome.” —Jeff
5. “Shitrock. Better yet, he was a patient at the hospital [where I worked] so I frequently got to hear ‘Will the student or clinician working with Shitrock please come to ICU’? at least 10 times a day on the overhead.” —Currie
6. I recently dog-sat for a very small chihuahua named The Baby.” —Corey
7. “My cousins named their dog Farfle.” —Emily
8. “Beefcake.” —
9. “My dog’s name is Dracula. He’s a brindle greyhound rescue from Florida.” —Stephen
10. “A few months ago I somehow discovered this very strange and cute dog on Instagram who has amazing videos. But his name is Cumlord.” —Dom
Sadly, Cumlord’s name is actually Houston.
“The thought of a very cute and fluffy dog with an inappropriate name made me laugh so I made him a Facebook page and called him Cumlord,” his owner Andy Zaharia said.
11. “Toes is a Crossfit dog named after the challenging ‘toes to bar’ move. He lives on Wall Street and when he’s not working out or day trading he loves to snuggle under blankets.” —Samantha
12. “My cousin’s pup was named Deogi, which was an attempt at a phonetic joke.” —Brett
(Note: Like “D-O-G.” It took me a full day to understand this.)
13. “There’s a dog I see at [the] park every morning called TD, which stands for The Dog. And the worst dog name I’ve heard … would have to be Lickity Split. His owner was always shouting LICK!!!!!!!” —Lindsey